Ikväll intervjuar vi en Nordkoreansk frihetskämpe vid namn Lang

Good day to you, mister Lang Park Soo.

Good day

How are things in the Republik?

Korea best. Korea friendly. Korea very strong nation, very good.

Are you gainfully employed, and if so, what do you do?

Me strong fighter. Love communism. Work at office.

Does North Korea pose a threat to its southern neighbour?

No, no, no. As long as stupid South Korea does not irritate us. If they do, many, many bombs will rain down on them. South Korea is very bad. Bad, bad people.

What do you think about Käftsmällen?

Kaftsmallen is very good. Me like.

Finally, do you have a message to our readers?

Yes, me have. Fight for Kim Jong Ill. Wish communist party in Sweden will seize power. Then Sweden paradise.

Stöd och heja på Newcastle United. Det enda laget i engelska förstadivisionen värt att bry sig om att hålla på.

Tänk Alan Shearer...vilken klasspelare. Förr eller senare kommer de att knipa ett guld, var så säkra. Heja The Magpies!